its things like these i've done that makes me wonder why the hell do i have such a talent for fucking myself over.
i want to slip back into that depressive coma state i was 1 month ago.
oh scratch that i already am. hurray.
oooh i feel myself degenerating and just feeling like a piece of trash. actually i already am. trash will always be trash. they'll just end up burning in the fucking incinerator or the place we more conventionally know as, Hell.
yesterday was pretty fucking crazy. had way too much. prolly the reason why i feel like someone should just motherfucking stab me in the back and leave me to die.
my goal in life? to be a bum.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
Oh why do you try and pull me under?
Trust me I am already dead
I've been digging my own grave for far too long now,
And I don't mind waking up without in my bed.
Oh when the sun comes up you will realize that you were wrong,
And when your lungs collapse every breath that you take will feel like your last.
I want to see the fire ignite, suffocating the sky;
Don't ever say that you know just what this feels like,
I swear one day I'll kill this lie.
Curiosity has taken its toll once again,
And taken over, taken over everything we had.
Oh it's a shame,
You just walked away,
Take everything, I don't want the memories to stay.
Say you didn't see it coming,
But I can see it from a mile away.
Look in between the lines and read the story written on your face.
Oh when the sun comes up you will realize that you were wrong,
And when your lungs collapse every breath that you take will feel like your last.
I want to see the fire ignite, suffocating the sky;
Don't ever say that you know just what this feels like,
I swear one day I'll kill this lie.
Letting go is easier when you have nothing left to lose,
So I'm letting go, I'm letting go, I'm letting go of you.
Oh please, look in me in the eye, next time you stab me in the back.
Oh please, look in me in the eye, next time you stab me in the back.
Oh please, look in me in the eye,
(You know to come and get all of your clothes out of my house.)
Next time you stab, you stab me, you stab me in the back.
(So go tell all your friends why chose to stick around.)
Trust me I am already dead
I've been digging my own grave for far too long now,
And I don't mind waking up without in my bed.
Oh when the sun comes up you will realize that you were wrong,
And when your lungs collapse every breath that you take will feel like your last.
I want to see the fire ignite, suffocating the sky;
Don't ever say that you know just what this feels like,
I swear one day I'll kill this lie.
Curiosity has taken its toll once again,
And taken over, taken over everything we had.
Oh it's a shame,
You just walked away,
Take everything, I don't want the memories to stay.
Say you didn't see it coming,
But I can see it from a mile away.
Look in between the lines and read the story written on your face.
Oh when the sun comes up you will realize that you were wrong,
And when your lungs collapse every breath that you take will feel like your last.
I want to see the fire ignite, suffocating the sky;
Don't ever say that you know just what this feels like,
I swear one day I'll kill this lie.
Letting go is easier when you have nothing left to lose,
So I'm letting go, I'm letting go, I'm letting go of you.
Oh please, look in me in the eye, next time you stab me in the back.
Oh please, look in me in the eye, next time you stab me in the back.
Oh please, look in me in the eye,
(You know to come and get all of your clothes out of my house.)
Next time you stab, you stab me, you stab me in the back.
(So go tell all your friends why chose to stick around.)
do not give a fuck.
do not give a fuck.
do not give a fuck.
do not give a fuck.
do not give a fuck.
but in the end i always do. goddamn because i care that much. but even whores have more significance to you then me.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
if the rope around my neck that dangles me from the ceiling tightens some more, i will die.
i don't like to be left hanging in mid-air suspended by that thin silver of hope you seem to offer me.
hopefully by then something worth my effort actually materializes. even though i highly doubt so.
because i'm not worth it enough for you to forget or overlook my flaws as much as i want to help you or give you a chance too.
i'll prolly be the one left to die in the end.
i don't like to be left hanging in mid-air suspended by that thin silver of hope you seem to offer me.
hopefully by then something worth my effort actually materializes. even though i highly doubt so.
because i'm not worth it enough for you to forget or overlook my flaws as much as i want to help you or give you a chance too.
i'll prolly be the one left to die in the end.
Friday, February 5, 2010
again i'm sinking into that oh-so-familiar pit. this time i dont know if i can make it out alive.
i'm well aware of it that i'm still putting myself on the thin line for you, because i prolly still believe in that small rapidly dwindling amount of hope i have for us. stupid really and yet i'm stupid enough to do. i must be deaf dumb and blind.
i feel the water level rapidly rising around me. filling the cracks and holes i've boarded up shabbily thinking it was enough to tide me over. but apparently it isn't and i feel myself drowning.
yet i still chose the path that hurts the fucking most and yet i can never turn away.
i'm well aware of it that i'm still putting myself on the thin line for you, because i prolly still believe in that small rapidly dwindling amount of hope i have for us. stupid really and yet i'm stupid enough to do. i must be deaf dumb and blind.
i feel the water level rapidly rising around me. filling the cracks and holes i've boarded up shabbily thinking it was enough to tide me over. but apparently it isn't and i feel myself drowning.
yet i still chose the path that hurts the fucking most and yet i can never turn away.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Sunday, January 31, 2010
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